Body Image and Mental Health

Sometimes I feel like the entire industry is one big trick mirror, where we have all become so disillusioned to what we think is an ideal - THE ideal - that we completely lose sight of the biggest gift of all which is the reflection staring back at us.

We contort, shrink, bulk, smile, and morph ourselves into anything and everything possible, desperate to be liked and adored in order to have our moment and finally, have our 60 seconds of fame. A fragment of time we’d kill for just to feel valid, worthy and as though our life purpose had meaning. Deep, for the beginning of an article, but just because it’s writing doesn’t mean one can’t be even a tad dramatic... 

“YOUR BODY IS NOT A BADGE OF HONOR YOU WEAR WITH PRIDE OR HIDE IN SHAME. YOUR BODY IS NOT AN APOLOGY, YOUR BODY IS YOUR HOME.”

 Chelsea Little – actress, published author and mental health activist

When Ceili asked me to write for her incredible company, to be honest I was overwhelmed, because there is so much I want to say and never enough words to say it. Also, as complex, colorful, bold and exciting as our industry is there are still so many deep rooted pillars of inequality and prehistoric beliefs that if even for a second I could change and make you recognize that you hold the power, I would grab it by the balls and run with it. So, this isn’t going to be a blog about my woes and struggles, or about the industry at all really - I want this to be about YOU and your relationship with yourself. 

"WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID SOMETHING NICE TO YOURSELF, AND GENUINELY FELT IT AND MEANT IT?”

 

Pause

NOW… WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE MEAN TO YOURSELF, TEARING EVERY INCH OF YOUR REFLECTION APART, AND BULLYING YOURSELF INTO A STATE OF MISERY? 

Being a performer is hard, because unlike other professions we are our job, so it’s always challenging to differentiate critique from our physical selves when the product is us. To add to the rejection, we spend hours in front of a mirror correcting every inch of our body in pursuit of perfection all of which is accentuated by (in my opinion) way to much lycra. No one needs that in their life. We’re on a hamster wheel, chasing the ever evolving beauty standard and latest trend of talent. It’s a race none of us were aware that we were signed up too, but more importantly that we forget we can stop. We can step off and reclaim what belongs to us. Your sexuality, your body, your aesthetic should only be judged by your own god damn tastes and desires and definitely does NOT belong to anyone else. 

I see you. I see the body checking in every reflective surface you pass. I see the constant outfit adjustments and down playing of compliments. I hear your self-deprecating words towards your incredible body and home. I see you shrink, as a knee jerk reaction to others in a room as the demons of comparison jump on your back and convince you that you’re not as good. You are so hard on yourselves, on your bodies, on your souls and I understand because I have and still sometimes carry that metaphorical weight on my shoulders. But you can put it down, maybe not all at once, but just try lightening the load.

Pay attention to the little things, like how you speak about yourself to others, and how you feel when you’re around certain people. Self love is not an end destination but a journey that’s constantly evolving and needs continuous work. It can be hard but start with the little things that build up and make a bigger difference, and lighten that load on your back and make you stand taller, prouder and more confident, just as you should be. And before you know it, you’ll look into the mirror and maybe even smile. Because the person looking back feels at home, and is happy you finally feel that way too. 

“YOUR TRUE SELF IS FINALLY TAKING OFF THE HAT OF THE CHARACTER YOU’VE BEEN PLAYING FOR TOO LONG.”

 

Your true self is like finally taking off the hat of the character you have been playing for too long, and being free. It wasn’t until I let go of the version of me that I thought others wanted me to be, that I found the version of me that I needed to be and thrived as. I stripped back all the bull shit and left the raw, unfiltered version. I gave myself permission to like myself rather than a palatability chart of what was an acceptable version of me - and to be honest, just said f it!!

It’s hard, every aspect of what we do is making ourselves likeable and the ideal ‘product’, to the extent that we change every unique thing about ourselves to fit in but by doing so create this bubbling anxiety as we struggle to maintain it. 

Things I used to hate about myself: 

• MY LAUGH (IT’S A LOUD CACKLE I CAN’T CONTROL)

• MY DRIVE (A LOT OF THINGS I HAVE ACHIEVED IN LIFE WAS THROUGH SACRIFICE AND HARD WORK, SOMETIMES PEOPLE DON’T UNDERSTAND)

• MY WEIRDNESS (I’M A WEIRDO AND THOSE CLOSE TO ME CAN 100% VERIFY)

• MY BODY (STILL FIGURING OUT THAT THING CALLED BALANCE BUT EVEN AT THE TINY END OF THE SPECTRUM I WASN’T HAPPY)

• I’M A BIT OF A MISH MASH (INTROVERTED EXTROVERT, TOMBOY BUT A GIRLY GIRL, I DON’T FIT INTO A BOX BASICALLY)

What I no longer care about: 

• ANYONE ELSE’S OPINION OF ALL OF THE ABOVE THINGS

Where am I going with this?

As much as I would love us all to be free spirits with zero worries, it’s not realistic, we all get effected by others and I’m the first to admit that. But I want to encourage you to be BOLD in being YOURSELF because when you’re the most authentic version of yourself you attract the right people and the right path in life, rather than struggling in an identity that is not yours. So stand your sacred ground and fill your space, because you don’t have to earn it, you are enough. 

5 pocket pep talks: 

1.     Treat yourself after every audition and force yourself to write one thing that went well, that way you leave every audition on a positive rather than dwelling and over analyzing yourself. (Doughnut time is an incredible way to treat yourself, just saying) 

2.     Remember your timeline is yours, just because things are playing out differently compared to others does not mean you’re doing things wrong. This is your path, own it. 

3.     Prepare, work hard, and be yourself and there is nothing more you can do. Always remember that. 

4.     Change, set backs and mistakes are not bad things. These are what enable you to learn and grow. 

5.     You are never alone and always have someone to talk to. Remember that. 

HAVE INSTAGRAM?! GIVE ME A FOLLOW ON @SMILETOHEALTH FOR ALL THINGS HEALTH AND WELLNESS, AND @CHELSEAISALITTLE FOR THE STAGEY SIDE OF LIFE. 

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